“You are the only problem you will ever have, and you are the only solution.” – Bob Proctor
On Page 101 in My Father Knew the Secret begins the story of Getting Unstuck. There is a lot to be said on this topic, and in my book, I chose to focus on the limiting beliefs that often keep us stuck.
Today, I will come at this feeling of being ‘stuck’ in another way. Time and Action!
Can we master time?
If you are a student of Bob Proctor’s, you have heard him say, “Time cannot be managed. We all are given the same amount of time, and it’s what we do with our time that makes a difference. Instead, we manage our activities.”
We could stop here because my father’s words are spot-on perfect. But… it doesn’t mean it is easy.
Controlling time and being productive are different things.
By managing our activities, we are working to be productive. It can also be used as a way to feel in control.
But I have a spoiler alert for you…control is an illusion. If you are trying to control, you will find yourself frustrated. Keeping yourself busy for the sake of being busy can be an attempt to ward off worry and fear. Instead, strip away what is not necessary and find what really matters.
If, like me, when you think of Bob Proctor, you think of a calm, thoughtful, and brilliant man. Can you think of a time you saw my father rushing around?
Dad resisted ‘fixing’ a problem in order to avoid discomfort.
Through his years of study and practice, he found the balance between being patient and present while being productive. He knew that patience was not inaction. He knew that calm was a strength. He would allow solutions to present themselves instead of grabbing problems by the horns and wrestling them to the ground. That ability to stay in uncertainty required great faith and self-confidence.
Dad chose each day to get a little bit better. Think of the patience it took to stay on the same page of a book for days or even weeks until he felt he had fully digested the meaning. From the outside looking in, this practice could seem very unproductive. But that is so far from the truth. Surrendering to slowing down enough to fully allow growth from a single experience is an extraordinary kind of presence.
I often think that the desire to rush and being focused on the idea that there is not enough time is our sense that we cannot avoid death. The real part of life is now – today is not a dress rehearsal. How you act today and what you say and do today count. Experience is happening right here in this moment. Avoid the urge to will yourself out of it. Tune into the gratitude that you are here, and you get the privilege to experience whatever it is you are experiencing today.
Managing activities and narrowing focus is the key.
In my September blog, Goals Are for Growing, I talk about how each night, I list the 5 most important things I need to do tomorrow. These are goal-productive achieving activities. What doesn’t get done that day goes onto tomorrow’s list as part of that day’s five. These are the things that I am committing to giving conscious attention to. That is managing activities, not controlling time.
This exercise is a way to limit choices and narrow focus. It is claiming time for activities instead of making space. But it is also important to limit yourself to these activities so you don’t resent these goal tasks for having dominated your day.
Simplify, then act!
Bob Proctor was also a master at taking action. And he was famous for taking a big first step without the next step being in sight. He always had his list of goal-achieving activities nearby and would use that as his roadmap. He was connected to his future self, knowing that what he spent time on today, his future self would be better for it.
In My Father Knew the Secret – I talk about taking imperfect action. By taking action, you will learn something. You may learn that you need to go in a different direction, but the point is you took action and learned.
I have shared before that I was stuck after my father passed away in February 2022. In August 2022, both Cory and I left the Proctor Gallagher Institute. It was Cory that helped to get me back on track. My book was far from finished, and she knew she needed to get me focused on something to keep me from spiraling into darkness.
She asked me to pick up the book project and write 500 words a day. I liked the idea. It gave me something to focus on, and it felt productive. Generating was not the hard part; taking action was the challenge.
I will admit that thinking about and writing personal stories was not easy initially. Cory would remind me… “Just 500 words.” It went on like this for a few weeks. It wasn’t long before I woke up excited to write, and I felt purposeful. Then, the challenge became stopping at 500 words!
I had to learn the power of stopping so I could create a new rhythm to my days with deeply satisfying regular routines. I had to find a new normal after losing my father and leaving PGI. This is what worked to get me Unstuck.
What has worked for you? Share with me in the comment section below.
I have my self love/daily habits every day. To see to it that I pore love into myself so that I can help others. It can be like writing for my book, emotional check-in and reading a book in spiritual elevation/ personal development, like your book. Which I just finished but gonna read several times for sure! Amazing read!
Hi Sandra, I love the idea of self love habits!
Oh my goodness you’ve no idea of the boost you’ve given me with this blog. Appreciate it very much, thank you x
So glad to hear that it helped Linda!
Great post, Brian. Having a morning routine has worked wonders for me. Movement is key for me. Within 5 minutes of getting out of bed, I briskly walk for 30-45 minutes and work out with resistance bands. I listen to/watch content that has a positive theme. In between ‘sets,’ I open up my goal/vision doc on my phone. I typically look over the goals I have achieved first. Then, I look at the goals I have set for myself. That is typically enough to get me motoring for the day.
WOW! Knowing you this does not surprise me but I will admit that is serious commitment! Thanks for sharing this with us Chris.
My Word is My Law. The biggest thing for me is to verbally tell myself every day what I plan to do. And knowing that in the back of my mind, there will be this voice at the end of the day evaluating my accomplishments. I have learned to give myself Grace on the things not yet accomplished. This is my way of staying accountable to myself. Right now I have to own my results in order to know how to improve myself to be the person I want to become. The best way to do this is to go at my goals with passion and get into the spirit of it. I am becoming, by doing, and know that I have already accomplished it!
Hi Beth, I love the phrase, “My Word is My Law.” I am going to adopt that right away. Thank you so much.
I have a morning routine as well. As soon as I wake up I meditate and then do my exercise routine before anything else. Goal setting I need to work on. Thanks for the inspiration 🙂
Brian your book is a great read and lots of inspiring memories of your Father. I will read it again and again. He was a great man I followed him for years, starting in the early 1980’s when he was just beginning to hold events in Toronto. He inspired my partner and I at the time to start our own business which did very well.
You are truly blessed to have had Bob as your Father.
Thank you Wanda, I appreciate your kind words. I sure remember those days in the 1980’s ;o)
When are you going to have your book avail in Canada on Indigo/Chapters? I prefer not to buy things off Amazon although I did get a copy for myself there. Now I would like to buy several as gifts.
I love lots of this, claiming time being purposeful, learning through action, taking time and let the solutions come to me and also 5 things the night before the most important then carry over thanks Brian. Melissa Posey directed me to you and I”m glad she did thanks. I had heard of the book before though thanks.
Thanks Amanda, I’m happy you found this useful and hope that you are enjoying the book.
Such a good article, Brian.
The willingness to do things imperfectly has made a huge difference for me. In a relatively short period of time, I have seen unexpected results from very incremental action.
While I have heard many times about making short lists, reading your article initiated the thought, ‘What if I could only do five things today? What would I choose to do?’ Working within a limit can help to keep focus on the more important things.
Thanks Julie, It does make a big difference. This is something I learned all my life from my father.
I love this post because you share your vulnerability with us. Although we keep studying Bob’s teachings, sometimes end up finding challenging situations and we freeze. I love the idea of setting small steps a day, so it doesn’t look overwhelming. Thank you for sharing, Brian! Your father is very, very alive in you, and it is so comforting to see!
Thank you Danielle, that means more to me than I could put in words. Small steps have definitely been the way I have gotten past it.
For many years, I have been meditating every morning when I wake up. It shifts my entire day! Also thanks to you and Bob, I do gratitude every night and every morning and often in between.
Thank you, Brian & Cory! You keep showing up exactly when I am looking for something! Your email today popped up and had the answers for various people in my life. And it then led me here which answers one of my coaching group’s requests and so the group will be about you. Thank you so much!
The impression of increase . . .
In gratitude – xo
Thank you Wendy! Your continued support means so much to both me and Cory. You are a gift to this world.
Hi Brian,
Thanks so much for the post! It is so inspiring and believe that writing five things (high priority tasks for taking actions) helps a lot especially I faced major changes in my life this year.
I love your new book! I will read it few more times & slowly & no rush.
Thanks Derek, I will be the first to admit…writing out 5 high priority tasks has helped me more than words could ever express. I am grateful you are enjoying the book.
Hi Brian,
Many thanks for another inspiring blog piece. I’m ‘stuck’ at present so your piece on becoming unstuck is of great comfort. I was fortunate enough to listen to you and to say hello at Inception in Belfast and ever since I’ve followed you with great interest.
Keep doing what you do, it’s very much appreciated.
Thank you Simon!! I really appreciate the feedback. Keep doing the work and watch what happens ;o)